The Red Tent

Saturday, June 25, 2011

I wonder what was heard

As the deepest layers of my being are responding to some sort of universal call. I am merging my cellular structure within the framework of the infinite matrix. It is time, you see. This calling of home. It is time to come home to myself. The work I have been set to do is laid about before me. Yet I am fearful, nervous, sickened to the core and the deepest recess of bone.


My vagina has become a door. Something better left to remain shut, some would say. But I cannot fathom this betrayal. As I sit nursing these feelings and deep longings I feel sheltered in some ways, exposed in others. Opening to new dimensions of thought, form, feeling, spirit. Creating a container for my soul.


It is nearly 5am and my spirit will not allow me rest. There are things that need to be addressed.


I can thank the man that pissed me off for the inspiration to write this post.


Let me explain; I posted a picture on facebook from Seattle's 'Slut Walk', where a man persisted in tearing down this movement. He calls women involved in this idiots, and says that by standing together against rape and violence under the name slut we are devaluing our cause and taking attention away from the core issues. And here is a direct quote "all I'm saying is attract the right kind of attention and stop acting like sluts if you want peoples respect, walking around half naked and flipping the bird is not going to shock me or make me think any more about your cause, I'm going to view you as an uneducated douche bag with no sense of moral responsibility and I will not subject my children to or support your cause" He persisted to say that my anger was useless and wasteful and that I should be addressing these issues of rape and violence politely, and with a smile. I wonder is this a joke? I will note that not one woman in the photograph that I shared was dressed like a "slut". 


To which I responded creatively with this:




While I found this video to be entertaining and suitable to the moment in response to this man it did not leave room, and neither did he for the deeper emotions to be brought forth and addressed. I became enraged and even now as I attempt to write I feel a knot catch in my throat. You see women are not allowed to speak out and up, especially in regards to man's actions or behaviors. But you know what. FUCK IT. I'M PISSED OFF. Angry doesn't quite cut it. Boiling, seething, raging mad ...its getting there, but still cannot fully encompass the rage of emotion that strikes my chords. 


I will sing this song. And it is a song of death. Death to all that would bring harm, and the birth of new life.


There is hatred here, within me for the pain that I have had to live with and the world that I grew up in. I'm not ready to take this dive, feel the depth of this and resurface alive. Invigorated with and for life. I know it will happen soon.


I will say this. In defense of 'Slutwalk' and all women and men brave enough to come together, with united purpose and common intention to take this stand and do this healing work, it is so profound. I am honoured, as a woman, not a slut, to stand with you.


No one had to explain it to me why they chose the name "slut" for this walk. Women have had to carry these labels around ...men and women both throwing them around like daggers, words meant to disempower and harm. Why not go for the source, and find empowerment? Makes perfect sense to me. Inga Muscio gets it ...she wrote Cunt for the same reason. Black men and women get it, calling each other Niggers in non derogatory ways. Us white folk, are obviously way too uptight. So little of us actually "get it". It might cause us to have to unravel our previously held notions and beliefs ..just a little.


Rape has been silenced, sort of like women's voices. We just don't want to talk about it. Most would rather pretend it doesn't exist. But those who have been directly effected by it, can't choose that option. It invades their lives. Destroys their self esteem. Makes them vulnerable and susceptible for more violence, more rape. It taps the energy of their core and feeds off them. 


It stops here. Women are uniting in chorus and we are saying "NO" and men are singing with us. Join the voices and amplify the sound. 


Take your negativity and your judgemental attitude and literally go fuck yourself, so that you are occupied, so you do not get in the way of the people who are doing the real healing work on our planet.


Maybe one day I'll actually get into how the way women are treated is a direct reflection of the way our planet is treated and vice versa. Hopefully someone will listen....